HDTV Daily Programming Guide for Monday, March 22, 2004

MONDAY, MARCH 22, 2004
 

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NO HDTV TONIGHT

8:00PM ET/7:00 C
Yes, Dear

"The Premiere"
Jimmy gets Greg in trouble with the studio boss after he steals GregÂ’s credential to a Hollywood premiere and then insults the director of the film.

8:30PM ET/7:30 C
Still Standing

"Still Stressing"
In order to pay for a tutor to help him study for the PSAT, a stressed-out Brian takes a job with Bill and runs circles around Bill and his slothful co-workers. Meanwhile, Linda uses Lauren to nab a divorcee with a son.

9:00PM ET/8:00 C
Everybody Loves Raymond

"Crazy Chin"
AmyÂ’s parents put Robert on the defensive when they point out his strange habit of touching food to his chin before he eats it. When Amy confides in Debra, who tells her that RobertÂ’s strange behavior could be psychological, she devises a plan to break him of his chin habit for good.

9:30PM ET/8:30 C
Two and a Half Men

"I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You"
Judith's sinister-but-sexy sister, Liz, shows up for Jake's 11th birthday party. Although she once shared an intimate moment with Charlie in the coattroom at Alan and Judith's wedding, Liz now has Alan on her mind.

10:00PM ET/9:00 C
CSI: Miami

No Description Available.

9:00PM ET/8:00 C
Las Vegas
ALL NEW!

THEFT, DECEIT, AND JEALOUSY IN THE CITY OF SIN; MARC MCGRATH GUEST STARS-- When one of the Montecito's guests wins big, his wallet is snatched before he can indulge in his winnings, forcing Danny (Josh Duhamel), Sam (Vanessa Marcil) and Ed (James Caan) to search the premises for the thieves. When the wallet is graciously returned, Danny and Sam give the Good Samaritan a priceless reward. Elsewhere, there is a suspicious machine on the floor with an unusually high payout pattern, and it's up to the Montecito's security team to figure out if it's a defective machine or a strategically deceiving guest. Meanwhile, Ed's thoughts are preoccupied with jealousy and suspicion when he finds out that Jillian (Cheryl Ladd) has been hanging out with the artist playing at the Montecito, Marc McGrath (guest stars as himself, Sugar Ray) and an overzealous agent pesters Mary (Nikki Cox) trying to get her talent-less client a gig at the Montecito. James Lesure and Molly Sims also star. TV-14

11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM C
 THE TONIGHT SHOW
WITH JAY LENO

GUESTS

 MEL GIBSON, DAVID WILLEY, PRINCE

8:00PM ET/7:00 C
7th Heaven

"The Prodigal Father"
A distraught Peter (Scotty Leavenworth) learns that his alcoholic and mean-spirited father, Vic (guest star Bryan Callen), who abandoned his family three years ago, has changed his ways and wants to be part of Peter's life again. In the wake of this monumental news, Chandler (Jeremy London) must decide how this will impact his relationship with Paris (guest star Shannon Kenny) and Peter; Ruthie (Mackenzie Rosman) feels that Peter is pushing her away during this chaotic time; and Reverend Camden (Stephen Collins) finds a philanthropic way for the community and his family to embrace Vic.

9:00PM ET/8:00 C
Everwood

"The L Word"
Ephram (Gregory Smith) is horrified and heartbroken after he impulsively tells Madison (guest star Sarah Lancaster) that he loves her and she doesn't reciprocate. Meanwhile, Linda (Marcia Cross) naively agrees to watch Delia (Vivien Cardone) overnight so that Andy (Treat Williams) can accompany Ephram and his piano teacher, Will (guest star James Earl Jones), to a jazz competition in Boulder, and Amy (Emily VanCamp) breaks up with Tommy (guest star Paul Wasilewski) after realizing she might not be able to trust him again.

NO HDTV PROGRAMMING TONIGHT

6:00AM ET/5:00 C
Sacred Monuments Of Asia

"Bhutan To Katmandu"
Travel to Bhutan and Katmandu to visit many of the temples and monuments used by Buddhists and Hindus.

7:00AM ET/6:00 C
A Brief History Of Time

A film about the life and work of the cosmologist, Stephen Hawking, who is perhaps the leading and most popular scientific thinker today. His ideas and theories about the origins and destiny of the universe are highly renowned throughout the world.

8:30AM ET/7:30 C
An Inside Look: Istanbul - Crossroads Of Civilization


No Description Available.

9:00AM ET/8:00 C
Big Cat Magic

The Cat Whisperer follows Dirk Arthur as he examines how attitudes toward animals in entertainment have evolved throughout the centuries. With charismatic trainer-breeder-illusionist Arthur as our guide, we will go behind the scenes to show how today's trainers work with dangerous animals, showing the same respect as they would show colleagues or friends...and the animals responding in kind.

10:00AM ET/9:00 C
City Slickers


Find out how the penguin and human populations of South Africa share limited coastal resources with minimal friction. The clean-up of the area's largest oil spill in history evoked an unprecedented outpouring of affection between these unlikely partners.

11:00AM ET/10:00 C
Great Books

"Arabian Nights"
Arabian Nights is hymn to storytelling, a vast compendium of tales of wonder, adventure, eroticism and romance. It tells of its origins, its translations and communicates the delight in storytelling which is at the heart of the book.

12:00PM ET/11:00 C
A Wedding Story

"Michelle & Mike"
No Description Available.

12:30PM ET/11:30 C
A Makeover Story

"Richmond Ringdance"
No Description Available.

1:00PM ET/12:00 C
Surprise By Design

"Mom's The Word"
Mimi and her mom, Grace, lived 300 miles apart, so Mimi and husband, Colin, moved Grace to Miami to live in their home. Grace thinks a bedroom makeover would be the perfect way to thank her generous family.

2:00PM ET/1:00 C
Weird Homes

"Dream Homes"
Dreamy, thoughtful, whimsical abodes including Clement Côté in Quebec, a railroad car-turned houseboat in California, and the 'Cosmic Muffin,' also a houseboat that, in a former life, flew eccentric millionaire Howard Hughes hither, thither and yon.

2:30PM ET/1:30 C
Weird Wheels

"Rust In Peace"
For those of us who weren't around when these classics were in their glory, here's our chance to see some of them aging gracefully.

3:00PM ET/2:00 C
Insectia

"Life In The Desert"
Find out how insects can stay alive in the arid expanses of the Sahara desert by preserving their precious water supply. Locusts, Desert Beetles, and many other insects store this resource to survive the Moroccan sun.

3:30PM ET/2:30 C
Great Canadian Rivers

"The Grand"
The Grand River and its tributaries comprise the largest watershed in Southern Ontario. Ecompassing 4 climatic zones in its 290K course from the Dundalk Plateau to Lake Erie, it provides nesting habitat for waterfowl and power generation for communities.

4:00PM ET/3:00 C
A Brief History Of Time

A film about the life and work of the cosmologist, Stephen Hawking, who is perhaps the leading and most popular scientific thinker today. His ideas and theories about the origins and destiny of the universe are highly renowned throughout the world.

5:30PM ET/4:30 C
An Inside Look: Istanbul - Crossroads Of Civilization

No Description Available.

6:00PM ET/5:00 C
Big Cat Magic

The Cat Whisperer follows Dirk Arthur as he examines how attitudes toward animals in entertainment have evolved throughout the centuries. With charismatic trainer-breeder-illusionist Arthur as our guide, we will go behind the scenes to show how today's trainers work with dangerous animals, showing the same respect as they would show colleagues or friends...and the animals responding in kind.

7:00PM ET/6:00 C
Moose On The Loose

Travel across North America for a journey into the world of the moose. From Alaska where these giants almost outnumber the residents to New England where moose festivals attract vistors from around the world, experience these lovable, yet awkward beasts.

8:00PM ET/7:00 C
Disneyland Resort: Behind The Scenes

Explore the mystique of the world's first modern theme park and the most enduring icons on the American landscape. Gain access to off-limits places, such as the secret club concealed in the park, and enjoy Tinkerbell's view as she starts the fireworks.

9:00PM ET/8:00 C
Trading Spaces

"Austin: Mather Trail"
No Description Available.

10:00PM ET/9:00 C
Dinosaur Planet

"White Tip's Journey"
When White Tip loses the rest of her pack, she must struggle to survive on her own. In time, she locates a new pack, as well as a mate, only to find that her hardships are just beginning in the harsh desert environment. Christian Slater narrates.

11:00PM ET/10:00 C
Disneyland Resort: Behind The Scenes

Explore the mystique of the world's first modern theme park and the most enduring icons on the American landscape. Gain access to off-limits places, such as the secret club concealed in the park, and enjoy Tinkerbell's view as she starts the fireworks.

12:00PM ET/11:00 C
Trading Spaces

"Austin: Mather Trail"
No Description Available.

1:00AM ET/12:00 C
Dinosaur Planet

"White Tip's Journey"
When White Tip loses the rest of her pack, she must struggle to survive on her own. In time, she locates a new pack, as well as a mate, only to find that her hardships are just beginning in the harsh desert environment. Christian Slater narrates.

2:00AM ET/1:00 C
Insectia

"Insects For Sale"
Beyond the scientific uses of entomologists, insects have become part of a complex and sometimes illicit trade. Begin the investigation in the outskirts of Iquitos, Peru where curiosity and controversy can lead to profits.

2:30AM ET/1:30 C
Great Canadian Rivers

"Columbia, The"
The Columbia River, 2,000 kilmoters in legnth, originates from the marshes of Columbia Lake in southeastern British Columbia. Flowing through the Arrow Lakes, the river meets the Pacific near Astoria, Oregon. The river produces nearly 1/3 of BC's power.

3:00AM ET/2:00 C
Disneyland Resort: Behind The Scenes

Explore the mystique of the world's first modern theme park and the most enduring icons on the American landscape. Gain access to off-limits places, such as the secret club concealed in the park, and enjoy Tinkerbell's view as she starts the fireworks.

4:00AM ET/3:00 C
Trading Spaces

"Austin: Mather Trail"
No Description Available.

5:00AM ET/4:00 C
Dinosaur Planet

"White Tip's Journey"
When White Tip loses the rest of her pack, she must struggle to survive on her own. In time, she locates a new pack, as well as a mate, only to find that her hardships are just beginning in the harsh desert environment. Christian Slater narrates.
 

6:00AM ET/5:00 C
2004 CES Insiders

Heavyweights of the cable, satellite and high-definition (HD) content worlds convened to share their thoughts on HDTV content and delivery during the Industry Insider Series roundtable discussion from CES 2004.

7:00AM ET/6:00 C
Square Pegs

A Child's Christmas in Weemawee -- Part 2 - Patty and Lauren face the prospect of a bleak holiday season -- and no New Year's party at Vinny's -- unless Patty can resolve her relationship with her estranged father. Tony Dow of Leave it to Beaver fame guest stars.

7:30AM ET/6:30 C
Some of My Best Friends

Shaggy Dog Story - Warren hesitantly agrees to adopt a lost puppy so that Frankie can impress an attractive new tenant in their building. Meanwhile, Pino gets up the nerve to ask Meryl out on a date, but his face and arms swell up from his severe allergy to the dog.

8:00AM ET/7:00 C
Higher Definition

Tim McCanlies, Haley Joel Osment - Pop-culture writer/host Robert Wilonsky sits down with Secondhand Lions director Tim McCanlies and star Haley Joel Osment to talk about their new film. Plus, previews of what's coming soon in HDNet entertainment.

8:30AM ET/7:30 C
Johnathan Brownlee's atHome

Long Weekend - Home theatres, "smart homes" security, home gyms, hot tubs, spas and barbeques.

9:00AM ET/8:00 C
Wild Secrets

Hyena: Family Matters - Always the bad guys in the movies, hyenas have suffered bad press as the scavengers of the Savannah. But there's another side to this story; hyenas are in fact bold hunters, and scavenge less than lions. We reveal the flip side to the "bad guy" hyena story.

9:30AM ET/8:30 C
Across America

Gleason's Gym - Times have changed for the world's oldest gym. In the ring where the Raging Bull got his start, teachers, doctors and accountants are now putting on the gloves!

10:00AM ET/9:00 C
HDNet World Report

New Orleans: The Big Easy is Slowly Sinking - HDNet World Report travels to one of America's most unique cities; New Orleans, where the city's very existence is being threatened by slowly...but persistently rising waters.

10:30AM ET/9:30 C
HDNet World Report

Superior, Nebraska: Losing Middle America - World Report travels to Middle America to see towns in the nation's breadbasket that are being threatened...not with violence, but with extinction. The farming business isn't what it used to be, and technical advances are making family farms and the towns nearby almost unnecessary.

11:00AM ET/10:00 C
Designing America

Tiptoe Through the Tulips! - Preparations for a "once a year" garden party are underway in this fabulous backyard! Learn about baking with silicon and you'll be served up some "Room Service" on Finishing Touch.

11:30AM ET/10:30 C
On the Set: An American in Canada

On the Set: An American in Canada is a tongue in cheek look at a "typical" day on the set of this award winning Canadian comedy.

12:00PM ET/11:00 C
Thieves

Pilot - Johnny and Rita collide while trying to single-handedly pull off the biggest diamond heist of all time. They're caught by the FBI but are offered a deal: Johnny and Rita can avoid jail time by recovering missing government property--national art treasures, underworld secrets, nuclear launch codes. Anything the government has lost, Johnny and Rita must find. Tone Loc guest stars.

1:00PM ET/12:00 C
True Music

MxPx, South FM - The punk rock sound of MxPx headlines today's episode of True Music. Plus, South FM will play their hit national song "Dear Claudia" and you'll understand why these guys have taken off! And don't miss Haji, as they play at the famous Curtain Club in the heart of Dallas' music district.

1:30PM ET/12:30 C
Hogan's Heroes

Commandant Schultz - Sgt. Schultz is temporarily promoted to commanding officer of Stalag ', and chaos is imminent.

2:00PM ET/1:00 C
That's Life

Or What's a Heaven For? - To Dolly's dismay, Frank quits his job at the tollbooth without consulting her; Lydia tries to help J.T. get his G.E.D, despite his resistance; Victor proposes to Jackie.

3:00PM ET/2:00 C
Charlie's Angels

Angels On A String - Sinister forces attempt to discredit the spokesman for free Poland. An international political leader is abducted and a double substituted for him at a world conference being held at a resort where Charlie's Angels are vacationing. Having met the leader earlier, Sabrina knows something is wrong. Soon, the girls discover that the culprits plan to have their imposter deliver a false, radicalized, seemingly irrational keynote address.

4:00PM ET/3:00 C
NHL Hockey

Phoenix @ Chicago
Special Encore Presentation

6:30PM ET/5:30 C
Sting - Inside: The Songs of Sacred Love

Filmed in Malibu and Los Angeles, California, this special contains all new interviews, documentary footage and live performances of songs from Sting's new album "Sacred Love" as well as other Sting/Police classics. Watch as Sting brings his new songs from the studio to the stage for the first time.

7:30PM ET/6:30 C
HDNet World Report

America: From the Front to the Homefront - HDNet World Report travels to North Carolina to hear first hand from members of the American military and their families, about their feelings on service in Iraq. Listen to those who have just arrived home from long tours, and those who are about to be on their way.

8:00PM ET/7:00 C
An American In Canada - Premiere

Frisky Business - Moose mating season makes everyone at Channel 5 frisky. Judy seduces Jake while Jake thinks he's seducing Judy and Derrick has to choose between dating Mara and working at The Moose. Meanwhile, Dennis endeavors to cleanse himself with coffee enemas.

8:30PM ET/7:30 C
Hogan's Heroes - Premiere

The 43rd, A Moving Story - Hogan's scheme to disable a crack German anti-aircraft battery is disrupted by the arrival at Stalag 13 of a tough, efficient major.

9:00PM ET/8:00 C
Charlie's Angels - Premiere

Fallen Angel - The Angels are retained by opera star Carla Taggart to protect her Blue Heron Diamond from the ice cat jewel thief, Damien Roth. However, Jill Munroe has become romantically involved with Roth, who invites her to participate in the heist.

10:00PM ET/9:00 C
Andy Richter Controls the Universe - Premiere

Little Andy in Charge - Andy starts seeing a woman with extremely questionable politics, and Jessica takes on a new attitude at work.

10:30PM ET/9:30 C
In-Laws - Premiere

The Mattress Kings - After their squeaky mattress puts their sex-life on display, Matt and Alex want a new bed and are talked into going to the "Mattress King" by Victor - which leads to a male struggle for dominance as both of the men in Alex' life try to prove their superiority through a mattress purchase.

11:00PM ET/10:00 C
An American In Canada

Frisky Business - Moose mating season makes everyone at Channel 5 frisky. Judy seduces Jake while Jake thinks he's seducing Judy and Derrick has to choose between dating Mara and working at The Moose. Meanwhile, Dennis endeavors to cleanse himself with coffee enemas.

11:30PM ET/10:30 C
Hogan's Heroes

The 43rd, A Moving Story - Hogan's scheme to disable a crack German anti-aircraft battery is disrupted by the arrival at Stalag 13 of a tough, efficient major.

12:00AM ET/11:00 C
Charlie's Angels

Fallen Angel - The Angels are retained by opera star Carla Taggart to protect her Blue Heron Diamond from the ice cat jewel thief, Damien Roth. However, Jill Munroe has become romantically involved with Roth, who invites her to participate in the heist.

1:00AM ET/12:00 C
Andy Richter Controls the Universe

Little Andy in Charge - Andy starts seeing a woman with extremely questionable politics, and Jessica takes on a new attitude at work.

1:30AM ET/12:30 C
In-Laws

The Mattress Kings - After their squeaky mattress puts their sex-life on display, Matt and Alex want a new bed and are talked into going to the "Mattress King" by Victor - which leads to a male struggle for dominance as both of the men in Alex' life try to prove their superiority through a mattress purchase.

2:00AM ET/1:00 C
HDNet Movie Night

Winners Take All - An insecure but likable dirt bike racer shows what he is made of when he competes against an old friend turned rival. It illustrates the intense racing using exciting motorcross footage.

3:45AM ET/2:45 C
The Fugitive

Pilot - Unjustly accused Dr. Richard Kimble seeks his wife's murderer while fleeing from a determined police lieutenant. Kimble travels to Miami after learning that the killer might be there.

4:30AM ET/3:30 C
First Monday

The Price of Liberty - A reluctant witness asks to have her identity concealed from a drug dealer at his trial, violating his Sixth Amendment right to confront his accuser. Also, what constitutes a good faith effort at accomodating someone under the Americans with Disabilities Act?

5:30AM ET/4:30 C
Tracks Ahead

The Ghan - Experience the Outback as Tracks Ahead rides The Ghan through the rugged land of central Australia. Visit the Kentucky Railroad Museum to see a combination of stream and one of the last operating BL-2 diesel locomotives.

7:00AM ET/6:00 C
The Wager

NR - 1:27 - 2003
Cast: Chris Devlin, Kristine Alexandria, Burt Young Director: Sigur-Bjorn
An independent producer bets a studio boss he can make a movie in three days.

8:30AM ET/7:30 C
Songwriter

R - 1:34 - 1984
Cast: Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson, Melinda Dillon Director: Alan Rudolph
Two country singers rock their way out of a bad deal.

10:05AM ET/9:05 C
Bang the Drum Slowly

PG - 1:37 - 1973
Cast: Michael Moriarty, Robert De Niro, Vincent Gardenia Director: John D. Hancock
A major league catcher, diagnosed with a terminal illness, asks his teammate to help him finish the baseball season.

11:45AM ET/10:45 C
Crooklyn

PG-13 - 1:54 - 1994
Cast: Alfre Woodard, Delroy Lindo, David Patrick Kelly Director: Spike Lee
Follows a middle class family living in Brooklyn, in particular the only girl in the family.

1:45PM ET/12:45 C
The Wager

NR - 1:27 - 2003
Cast: Chris Devlin, Kristine Alexandria, Burt Young Director: Sigur-Bjorn
An independent producer bets a studio boss he can make a movie in three days.

3:15PM ET/2:15 C
Love Wine

NR - 1:35 - 2003
Cast: Tara Goudreau, Robert Andrew, Daneen Boone Director: Mark McNabb
When a single woman inherits the family vineyard she must follow family traditions to harvest the "love" wine.

4:45PM ET/3:45 C
Gotcha!

PG-13 - 1:41 - 1985
Cast: Anthony Edwards, Linda Fiorentino, Nick Corri Director: Jeff Kanew
A college kid, who plays a mock assassination game called "Gotcha", travels to Europe, and finds himself on the run with a female Czech graduate student who is really an international spy.

6:30PM ET/5:30 C
Songwriter

R - 1:34 - 1984
Cast: Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson, Melinda Dillon Director: Alan Rudolph
Two country singers rock their way out of a bad deal.

8:05PM ET/7:05 C
Nicolas

NR - 1:26 - 2001
Cast: Marcus Graham, Jason Connery, Gretchen Egolf Director: Pete Shaner
A woman must choose between the man she loves and the man she once loved.

9:35PM ET/8:35 C
Matewan

PG-13 - 2:10 - 1987
Cast: Chris Cooper, James Earl Jones, Mary McDonnell Director: John Sayles
A young union organizer helps a small mining community rebel against their awful working conditions.

11:45PM ET/10:45 C
We're No Angels

PG-13 - 1:46 - 1989
Cast: Robert De Niro, Sean Penn, Demi Moore Director: Neil Jordan
Two criminals on the run from the law hide out as priests.

1:35AM ET/12:35 C
Matewan

PG-13 - 2:10 - 1987
Cast: Chris Cooper, James Earl Jones, Mary McDonnell Director: John Sayles
A young union organizer helps a small mining community rebel against their awful working conditions.

3:45AM ET/2:45 C
We're No Angels

PG-13 - 1:46 - 1989
Cast: Robert De Niro, Sean Penn, Demi Moore Director: Neil Jordan
Two criminals on the run from the law hide out as priests.

5:35AM ET/4:35 C
Songwriter

R - 1:34 - 1984
Cast: Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson, Melinda Dillon Director: Alan Rudolph
Two country singers rock their way out of a bad deal.

7:00AM ET/6:00 C
The Secret Garden

G Time: 101  
The beloved children's classic comes to the screen as a movie "executed to near perfection" (Variety). When 10-year-old Mary's parents are killed in India, she's sent to live in her uncle's gloomy old mansion. Her life there is gloomy, too, until she discovers an abandoned, locked garden. Aided by a local boy, she nurtures the garden--and her sickly cousin--back to glorious, blooming life. "Elegantly expressive, a discreet and lovely rendering of the children's classic" (Ne

8:45AM ET/7:45 C
Two Weeks Notice

PG13 Time: 101  
A Harvard-educated attorney prepares to leave her job to rid herself of her egotistical boss's trifling demands in this witty romantic comedy. Sandra Bullock stars as the pretty, intelligent Lucy Kelson whose work as an environmental lawyer-activist crosses paths with arrogant real-estate mogul George Wade (Hugh Grant). Impressed by her style and savvy, George hires Lucy as his Chief Counsel, but when she spends more time bickering with her boss and choosing his wardrobe, she throws in the towel and sends George her two weeks notice. Co-starring Alicia Witt, Dana Ivey, Robert Klein, Heather Burns, David Haig and Dorian Missick. Written and directed by Marc Lawrence.

10:30AM ET/9:30 C
Arthur 2 On The Rocks

PG Time: 112  
Even the hard times are hilarious when Dudley Moore returns as the rich, wry drunk the world toasted in Arthur. Now married to blue-collar true love Liza Minnelli, Arthur skids from wealth to woe when his ex-fiancee's vengeful father cheats him out of his fortune. Struggling with real life--real jobs and a real, rundown apartment--Dudley and Liza still find delight in their love. But will Arthur ever grow up? Sir John Gielgud returns to help repeat "...the giddy charm of the original" (Hollywood Reporter).

12:30PM ET/11:30 C
The Time Machine

PG13 Time: 95  
H.G. Wells's vaunted time-travel tale is brilliantly retold in this thrilling sci-fi film starring Guy Pearce (L.A. Confidential) as a man driven by tragedy to create a machine that can travel back to the past...and into the future! Seeking to alter his painful past, mathematician Alexander Hartdegan (Pearce) invents a time machine. However, an accident during Alexander's test run sends him more than 800,000 years into the future to a strange world in which man has become two distinct races: the peaceful Eloi and the violent underground Morlocks. Jeremy Irons co-stars as the evil Morlock leader and Samantha Mumba is the attractive Eloi whom Alexander must save from the clutches of the Morlocks. Also with Orlando Jones, Mark Addy and Yancey Arias. Directed by Simon Wells, the real-life great-grandson of H.G. Wells.

2:15PM ET/1:15 C
Eddie

PG13 Time: 100  
Whoopi Goldberg is a load-mouthed basketball fan hired to coach the long-suffering New York Knicks in an effort to boost game-day attendance. Goldberg plays Eddie Franklin, an outspoken lifelong Knicks fan and relentless critic of management's on and off court decisions. The Knicks owner knows his team is pitiful and attendance at Madison Square Garden is slipping away. His solution? Find new knockout cheerleaders, fire the long-standing coach...and hire fan-favorite Eddie to manage the team. Cameo appearances from Dennis Rodman, Donald Trump, David Letterman and former NYC mayor Ed Koch. Co-starring Frank Langella, Dennis Farina, Richard Jenkins, Lisa Ann Walter and John Benjamin Hickey. Directed by Steve Rash.

4:00PM ET/3:00 C
Stephen King's Cat's Eye

PG13 Time: 94  
A top-drawer cast headlines this trio of tongue-in-cheek terror tales from scare master Stephen King. In the first segment, a stop-smoking clinic offers a shocking new method for die-hard addicts like James Woods (John Carpenter's Vampires). Then, Robert Hays (Airplane!) dares a walk on a penthouse ledge to win a fortune and a gambler's wife. In the fearsome finale, a stray cat comes to the aid of E.T.'s Drew Barrymore, who can't convince her parents that she is being terrorized by a vicious troll.

5:40PM ET/4:40 C
Pearl Harbor II: Pearlmageddon

TVPG Time: 11  
A short spoof in which a chunk of a killer asteroid hits Hiroshima and causes fears of war with the American President.

6:00PM ET/5:00 C
Pretty Woman

R Time: 119  
Julia Roberts earned megastar status with her knockout performance in this 1990 love story about a ruthless businessman whose hiring of a good-hearted hooker leads to romance. Richard Gere co-stars as the handsome corporate raider who hires Roberts to be his companion for a weeklong series of business events. What begins as a job proposition starts taking a turn toward the romantic in this "Cinderella meets Pygmalion" (New York Post) tale. Ralph Bellamy, Jason Alexander and Laura San Giacomo co-star in this 1990 smash directed by Garry Marshall (The Princess Diaries) and written by J.F. Lawton.

8:00PM ET/7:00 C
Two Weeks Notice

PG13 Time: 101  
A Harvard-educated attorney prepares to leave her job to rid herself of her egotistical boss's trifling demands in this witty romantic comedy. Sandra Bullock stars as the pretty, intelligent Lucy Kelson whose work as an environmental lawyer-activist crosses paths with arrogant real-estate mogul George Wade (Hugh Grant). Impressed by her style and savvy, George hires Lucy as his Chief Counsel, but when she spends more time bickering with her boss and choosing his wardrobe, she throws in the towel and sends George her two weeks notice. Co-starring Alicia Witt, Dana Ivey, Robert Klein, Heather Burns, David Haig and Dorian Missick. Written and directed by Marc Lawrence.

9:45PM ET/8:45 C
Cinemax Spoken & Stirred: March 2004

TVPG Time: 12  
No Description Available.

10:00PM ET/9:00 C
Half Past Dead

PG13 Time: 98  
A botched police operation left him dead for 22 minutes. But for FBI agent Sascha Petrosevitch, his latest predicament is even more deadly! Steven Seagal stars as the tough-as-nails agent who goes undercover in the refurbished prison at Alcatraz. As authorities prepare to execute a top criminal at the prison, heavily armed paratroopers storm the building to save the man--and get valuable information out of him. What the bad guys don't count on is that Sascha a is one-man wrecking crew who will stop at nothing to take them down! Morris Chestnut, Ja Rule, Nia Peeples and Tony Plana co-star in this intense action film. Written and directed by Don Michael Paul.

11:40PM ET/10:40 C
Queen Of The Damned

R Time: 101  
The vampire Lestat reawakens as a blood-drinking rock star in this adaptation of the third volume in Anne Rice's popular Vampire Chronicles. Stuart Townsend stars as the brooding Lestat who comes out of hibernation with plans for a concert that will bring prominence to the secretive vampire ranks--much to their chagrin. But far more dangerously, he has awakened the long-petrified Queen Akasha (late pop singer Aaliyah), a vampire of royal descent whose powers go far beyond anything Lestat has ever seen! With Marguerite Moreau, Vincent Perez and Paul McGann.

1:20AM ET/12:20 C
Hot Club California

R Time: 88  
Three Detroit sisters find a briefcase full of money that promises to fulfill all of their California dreams in this steamy erotic thriller. The girls plan to open a strip club, but when they hit the West Coast, they quickly find a series of roadblocks in their way...and an angry club owner after them who wants his money back! Angela Davies, Tracy Ryan, Amanda Prentice, E.G. Wolfe and Nick Pellegrino star. Directed by John Quinn.

2:50AM ET/1:50 C
Secretary

R Time: 111  
A young secretary with a history of mental illness takes a liking to her boss who has a fetish for administering spankings in this quirky comedy. Maggie Gyllenhaal stars as Lee Holloway, a recently discharged mental patient who begins a career as a secretary. Bored by her sexually inexperienced boyfriend, Lee takes a liking to her domineering boss Edward--who disciplines her with a spanking for mistakes in a business letter. Lee's typing slip-ups and the sadomasochist behavior continue until Edward catches on to her little game. James Spader, Jeremy Davies and Lesley Ann Warren co-star. Directed by Steven Shainberg.

4:45AM ET/3:45 C
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack Of The Clones

PG Time: 142  
Ten years after the events of Episode I--The Phantom Menace, George Lucas's epic Star Wars series continues! With Queen Padme Amidala (now a Senator) under death threats, it's up to Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi and his rebellious teen apprentice Anakin Skywalker to keep her safe. But while Obi-Wan investigates the source of the threats and a rumored clone army, the dark side within Anakin begins to awaken--while he is simultaneously pulled toward a passionate, but forbidden romance with Padme. Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen, Frank Oz, Samuel L. Jackson and Christopher Lee star. (C) 2003 Lucasfilm Ltd. All Rights Reserved.

6:15AM ET/5:15 C
A Troll In Central Park

G Time: 75
A kind-hearted troll is banished from Troll Land by a wicked queen in this enchanting animated adventure. Stanley (voice of Dom DeLuise) is the fun-loving troll who gets shipped off to New York City by the evil queen Gnorga. But Gnorga is in for a surprise when Stanley uses his magical thumb to liven up the natural wonders of his new surroundings! Voices of Cloris Leachman, Phillip Glasser, Tawny Sunshine Glover and Hayley Mills. Directed by Don Bluth and Gary Goldman. "A sweet and sunny fantasy" (Variety).

7:30AM ET/6:30 C
James And The Giant Peach

PG Time: 79
Roald Dahl's tale about a boy living inside an overgrown peach is brought to life in this magical live-action/animated film. James is nine years old when his parents are killed and he is sent to live with his wicked aunts. Starved and mistreated with a spider as his only friend, James is given a bag of magic crocodile tongues from a kindly Old Man. The tongues grow beneath a dying tree and an enormous peach is born. When James crawls inside he meets his Spider friend and finds family with the lively insects inside the peach including a Grasshopper, Ladybug, Earthworm, Glowworm and Centipede. Written by Karey Kirkpatrick, Jonathan Roberts and Steve Bloom based on the book by Ronald Dahl. Starring Paul Terry, Joanna Lumley, Miriam Margolyes and Pete Postlethwaite. The voice cast includes Simon Callow, Richard Dreyfuss and Susan Sarandon. Directed by Henry Selick.

9:00AM ET/8:00 C
Funny About Love

PG13 Time: 101
Cartoonist Duffy Bergman wants to become a daddy in the worst way--but nature isn't cooperating. Now Duffy's looking for the best way to make it happen--and oh, baby, watch out! Gene Wilder sparkles in this lively look at love, marriage and infertility, '90s style. "Grin-filled" (New York Times). With Christine Lahti (Running on Empty) and Mary Stuart Masterson (Fried Green Tomatoes).

10:45AM ET/9:45 C
One Day In September

R Time: 90
The 1999 Academy Award(R)-winning documentary feature provides explosive new insights into the 1972 Munich massacre--the heinous murders of 11 Israeli Olympians by a group of Palestinian extremists. This intensely compelling film tells the whole shocking story from the initial hostage taking, through the fruitless 24-hour negotiation process and to the final horrifying hours at a German airport. For the first time, the lone surviving member of the extremist group speaks about the terrible events of September 5, 1972--and provides the first authentic account from a terrorist's perspective.

12:30PM ET/11:30 C
Powder

PG13 Time: 111
The citizens of a small town are thrown for a loop by the emergence of a strange albino youth who has electromagnetic powers, a genius I.Q. and telepathic abilities. With Mary Steenburgen, Sean Patrick Flanery, Lance Henriksen, Jeff Goldblum and Brandon Smith. Written and directed by Victor Salva (Jeepers Creepers).

3:00PM ET/2:00 C
Roommates

PG Time: 108
Peter Falk and D.B. Sweeney star in this heartwarming 1995 tale that chronicles three decades of the relationship between an ornery old man and the grandson he raised from childhood. With Julianne Moore (Hannibal), Jan Rubes, Ellen Burstyn, Frankie Faison and Noah Fleiss. "Falk is in fine form" (Leonard Maltin's 2002 Movie & Video Guide). Directed by Peter Yates (TV's Don Quixote). Story by Max Apple; screenplay by Max Apple and Stephen Metcalfe.

5:00PM ET/4:00 C
James And The Giant Peach

PG Time: 79
Roald Dahl's tale about a boy living inside an overgrown peach is brought to life in this magical live-action/animated film. James is nine years old when his parents are killed and he is sent to live with his wicked aunts. Starved and mistreated with a spider as his only friend, James is given a bag of magic crocodile tongues from a kindly Old Man. The tongues grow beneath a dying tree and an enormous peach is born. When James crawls inside he meets his Spider friend and finds family with the lively insects inside the peach including a Grasshopper, Ladybug, Earthworm, Glowworm and Centipede. Written by Karey Kirkpatrick, Jonathan Roberts and Steve Bloom based on the book by Ronald Dahl. Starring Paul Terry, Joanna Lumley, Miriam Margolyes and Pete Postlethwaite. The voice cast includes Simon Callow, Richard Dreyfuss and Susan Sarandon. Directed by Henry Selick.

6:30PM ET/5:30 C
Mom And Dad Save The World

PG Time: 87
In the mood for total silliness on a planet of idiots? Then you couldn't do better than this comedy about a California couple kidnapped by intergalactic despot Jon Lovitz. He's fallen in love with Teri Garr, and unless she marries him, he'll destroy Earth! With Dwier Brown, Kathy Ireland, Thalmus Rasulala, Wallace Shawn as Sibor and Eric Idle.

8:00PM ET/7:00 C
Executive Decision

R Time: 132
Two big action stars team up to recapture a hijacked airliner in this high-flying thriller that "gives the adrenalin-crazed action audience more than its money's worth...two crowded hours of tension and thrills" (New York Post). Arab terrorists are taking the plane to Washington, D.C., with a full load of hostages and a secret cargo of deadly nerve gas that could wipe out the city! "A good, taut movie for red-meat action audiences" (New York Times). "Its action-and-excitement quotient is top-notch" (Variety). With Halle Berry, John Leguizamo, Oliver Platt, Joe Morton, David Suchet and B.D. Wong.

10:15PM ET/9:15 C
John Carpenter's Escape From L.A.

R Time: 100
Ever since the big earthquake of 1998, Los Angeles has been an island, populated by the dregs of American society. Into this dangerous, lawless world comes rebel-with-a-cause Snake Plissken (Kurt Russell). His mission: find the Peruvian terrorist who stole the deadly "doomsday box"--along with the President's rebellious daughter. With Steve Buscemi (Fargo), Stacy Keach, Valeria Golino, Peter Fonda, Pam Grier and Cliff Robertson.

12:00AM ET/11:00 C
Road To Perdition

R Time: 117
"Sons are put on the Earth to trouble their fathers," growls Paul Newman as mob boss John Rooney. Set in 1931 Illinois, this compelling period gangster film from Oscar(R)-winning director Sam Mendes (American Beauty) focuses on the various father-son relationships that collapse amidst the violence of mob life. Tom Hanks stars as Michael Sullivan, a coldly intelligent enforcer whose father-figure boss Rooney is forced to order Sullivan's death--thanks to the tragic actions of Rooney's own uncontrollable son. With an assassin on his tail who likes to photograph corpses, Sullivan takes his surviving son on the run...while formulating a plan to avenge the brutal slayings of his wife and youngest boy. Jennifer Jason Leigh and Stanley Tucci co-star in this adaptation of the graphic novel by Max Allan Collins and Richard Piers Rayner. Screenplay by David Self.

2:00AM ET/1:00 C
Phone Booth

R Time: 80
Answering a call at a midtown Manhattan phone booth puts an arrogant publicist in the sights of a demented sniper in this heart-stopping Hitchcockian thriller. Colin Farrell (Daredevil) stars as Stu Shepard, a media guru who is trapped by an unseen gunman who is armed with bullets...as well as with intimate personal details of Stu's life. When the crisis turns deadly, it's up to Stu to turn the tables on the madman--but first he must convince the cops that he's not the killer! Forest Whitaker, Katie Holmes, Radha Mitchell and Kiefer Sutherland co-star. Directed by Joel Schumacher; written by Larry Cohen.

3:25AM ET/2:25 C
Sonny

R Time: 110
Nicolas Cage directed this compelling film about a boy who returns home from the military to his mother who runs a seedy brothel in New Orleans. After a stint in the Army, Sonny comes home to his mother Jewel, a madam and former prostitute running a staggering brothel business with only one working girl. Although his mother hoped he'd rejoin the business and "work" for her again, Sonny opts to leave New Orleans in search of a better job and life in Texas. But with few job prospects and a budding relationship with the beautiful prostitute Carol (Mena Suvari), Sonny begins to think twice about leaving the French Quarter. Starring James Franco, Brenda Blethyn, Harry Dean Stanton, Scott Caan, Seymour Cassel and Brenda Vaccaro.

5:20AM ET/4:20 C
Playing Mona Lisa

R Time: 96
Alicia Witt is exceptional as a piano-playing prodigy whose personal life and musical career unravel with shocking rapidity after she is rejected for a prestigious competition. Harvey Fierstein, Brooke Langton, Johnny Galecki, Ivan Sergei, Molly Hagan, Estelle Harris. Also with Elliott Gould and Marlo Thomas.
 

6:45AM ET/5:45 C
Catch Me If You Can

WIDESCREEN OAR UPCONV
Stereo / CCAP
PG 1h 46m
When a high school is nearly phased out due to lack of funds, its principal (Geoffrey Lewis) gets an idea: coerce Dylan Malone (Matt Lattanzi), the school's best drag racer, into doing his thing for money. M. Emmet Walsh and Loryn Locklin costar in this fast-paced action comedy featuring a pulse-pounding soundtrack by Tangerine Dream.

10:30AM ET/9:30 C
Charms For The Easy Life

WIDESCREEN OAR HDTV
Dolby Digital 5.1 / CCAP
TVPG 1h 51m
Gena Rowlands is Charlie Kate Birch, a fiercely independent family matriarch and maker of homeopathic remedies who lives with her daughter Sophia (Mimi Rogers) and granddaughter Margaret (Susan May Pratt) in North Carolina during WWII. When Margaret falls for a wounded soldier, grandma gently nurtures the relationship, even as she tries to help Sophia heal from a broken heart. Kenneth Mitchell costars in this film from director Joan Micklin Silver ("In the Presence of Mine Enemies"), based on a novel by Kaye Gibbons.

4:30PM ET/3:30 C
Crown Heights
 
WIDESCREEN OAR HDTV
Dolby Digital 5.1 / CCAP
TVPG - VL 1h 29m
The tragic true story of three days of racial strife, riots and murder in Brooklyn between African-Americans and Hasidic Jews during the sweltering summer of 1991. Sparked by the accidental death of a young child in a car accident, the city erupts in a wave of hate - until two brave community leaders (Mario Van Peebles and Howie Mandel) step forward to quell the unrest with an outreach program that changes lives. Jeremy Blackman and Dequan Henderson costar in this stirring, fact-based family drama.

6:00PM ET/5:00 C
Perfect

WIDESCREEN OAR HDTV
Stereo / CCAP
R 2h 1m
John Travolta stars as a "Rolling Stone" reporter that falls in love with the aerobics instructor (Jamie Lee Curtis) whom he's about to trash in an upcoming expose of the Los Angeles health club scene. Director James Bridges' drama costars Carly Simon, Marilu Henner, Laraine Newman, Anne DeSalvo, Stefan Gierasch, David Paymer and real-life "Rolling Stone" editor-publisher Jann Wenner as himself. Bridges cowrote the screenplay with reporter Aaron Latham.

10:00PM ET/9:00 C
Domestic Disturbance

WIDESCREEN OAR HDTV
Dolby Digital 5.1 / CCAP
PG13 1h 30m
John Travolta stars in this thriller as a divorced boat builder who believes his 11-year-old son is lying about witnessing his new step-dad (Vince Vaughn) committing a murder - until a little investigation reveals that the new man in his family's life is not who he claims to be. Teri Polo, Steve Buscemi and Matthew O'Leary costar in this film from director Harold Becker ("The Onion Field," "Sea of Love").

4:00AM ET/3:00 C
Hollywood Palms

WIDESCREEN OAR UPCONV
Stereo / CCAP
TV14 - VSLD 1h 31m
Observed by a skunk that lives in the ductwork of their building, the lives and loves of a group of Hollywood twenty-somethings intersect in surprising ways in this Generation X comedy starring Patrick Labyorteaux, Matt Winston, Paget Brewster, Elizabeth Mitchell, Judge Reinhold, Dean Cameron and Kristin Bauer.

7:35AM ET/6:35 C
Stealing Harvard HDTV

An everyday guy turns to a life of crime to finance his niece's college education.

9:05AM ET/8:05 C
The Preacher's Wife

Washington stars as an angel come to earth on a mission to restore a young preacher's faith and save his dying church. But along the way, he falls for the preacher's wife.

11:15AM ET/10:15 C
Rhapsody In Bloom

A caring sister must decide between devotion to her brother's motherless family or true love.

1:00PM ET/12:00 C
Hollywood One On One

Host Scott Patrick interviews the stars of recent, big-hit movies.

1:35PM ET/12:35 C
Sweet Home Alabama

A famous New York designer set to wed the mayor's son must return to her small southern town and put an end to her first marriage.

3:30PM ET/2:30 C
Scenes From a Mall

A married couple (Woody Allen, Bette Midler) celebrating their 16th anniversary spend the day arguing at the mall.

5:00PM ET/4:00 C
The Preacher's Wife

Washington stars as an angel come to earth on a mission to restore a young preacher's faith and save his dying church. But along the way, he falls for the preacher's wife.

7:15PM ET/6:15 C
Our Song

Three long time friends in Brooklyn face the brink of womanhood and the changes that come with it.

9:00PM ET/8:00 C
Sweet Home Alabama

A famous New York designer set to wed the mayor's son must return to her small southern town and put an end to her first marriage.

11:00PM ET/10:00 C
Stealing Harvard

An everyday guy turns to a life of crime to finance his niece's college education.

12:30AM ET/11:30 C
A Man Apart

A DEA agent tracks down the drug lord who killed his wife. Starring Vin Diesel.

2:25AM ET/1:25 C
The Trigger Effect

California yuppies are terrorized by a mysterious power, telephone and television outage.

4:05AM ET/3:05 C
Chaplin

Robert Downey Jr. (Oscar nominated for his role) portrays Charlie Chaplin in this semi-biographical look at the life of the silent film star. Directed by Richard Attenborough.

10:00AM ET/9:00 C
The Front

WIDESCREEN OAR HDTV
CCAP
PG 1h 35m
Woody Allen stars in this political comedy-drama as Howard Prince, a small-time bookie who finds unexpected fame and fortune when an old friend enlists him to masquerade as a TV writer for a group of scribes that have been blacklisted during the Communist witch hunts of the 1950s. Zero Mostel, Herschel Bernardi, Michael Murphy, Danny Aiello and Andrea Marcovicci head the supporting cast of this classic that represents the creative input of many blacklisted artists.

11:35AM ET/10:35 C
Novocaine

WIDESCREEN OAR HDTV
Dolby Digital 5.1 / CCAP
R 1h 35m
Dark comedy starring Steve Martin as a mild-mannered, middle-class dentist framed for narcotics theft and murder by an exotic femme fatale of a patient (Helena Bonham Carter) and her criminal brother (Scott Caan). Laura Dern, Keith David, Kevin Bacon, Lynne Thigpen and Elias Koteas costar in this drop-deadpan satire.

1:15PM ET/12:15 C
The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course

WIDESCREEN OAR HDTV
Dolby Digital 5.1 / CCAP
PG 1h 30m
TV's hyperactive Aussie naturalist Steve Irwin stars as himself in this good-natured family adventure that finds the fearless critter wrangler trying to protect an endangered croc - one that has swallowed a top-secret satellite beacon that's being sought by the CIA. Believing the agents to be poachers, Irwin and his wife Terri try to evade their pursuers while getting the scaly reptile to safety in the Outback, adopting a baby kangaroo, and dodging poisonous spiders and snakes in the process. Crikey!

4:05PM ET/3:05 C
The Front

WIDESCREEN OAR HDTV
CCAP
PG 1h 35m
Woody Allen stars in this political comedy-drama as Howard Prince, a small-time bookie who finds unexpected fame and fortune when an old friend enlists him to masquerade as a TV writer for a group of scribes that have been blacklisted during the Communist witch hunts of the 1950s. Zero Mostel, Herschel Bernardi, Michael Murphy, Danny Aiello and Andrea Marcovicci head the supporting cast of this classic that represents the creative input of many blacklisted artists.

8:00PM ET/7:00 C
The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course

WIDESCREEN OAR HDTV
Dolby Digital 5.1 / CCAP
PG 1h 30m
TV's hyperactive Aussie naturalist Steve Irwin stars as himself in this good-natured family adventure that finds the fearless critter wrangler trying to protect an endangered croc - one that has swallowed a top-secret satellite beacon that's being sought by the CIA. Believing the agents to be poachers, Irwin and his wife Terri try to evade their pursuers while getting the scaly reptile to safety in the Outback, adopting a baby kangaroo, and dodging poisonous spiders and snakes in the process. Crikey!

9:30PM ET/8:30 C
Novocaine

WIDESCREEN OAR HDTV
Dolby Digital 5.1 / CCAP
R 1h 35m
Dark comedy starring Steve Martin as a mild-mannered, middle-class dentist framed for narcotics theft and murder by an exotic femme fatale of a patient (Helena Bonham Carter) and her criminal brother (Scott Caan). Laura Dern, Keith David, Kevin Bacon, Lynne Thigpen and Elias Koteas costar in this drop-deadpan satire.

12:35AM ET/11:35 C
Midnight Express

WIDESCREEN OAR HDTV
Stereo / CCAP
R 2h 1m
The harrowing, fact-based saga of Billy Hayes (Brad Davis), a young American who was arrested in Turkey for attempted drug smuggling and quickly tossed into a nightmare of physical and psychological torture. The winner of two Oscars - one for Oliver Stone's screenplay, and one for Giorgio Moroder's famous score - this stylish effort from director Alan Parker also stars Irene Miracle, Bo Hopkins, Randy Quaid, John Hurt and Paul Smith.

2:45AM ET/1:45 C
Our Lady Of The Assassins

WIDESCREEN OAR HDTV
Dolby Digital 5.1
R 1h 41m
The violent inferno of Colombia's drug capital, Medellin, plays host to Fernando (German Jaramillo), a world-weary gay writer who has returned to die after a 30-year exile. While preparing his last good-byes, Fernando falls in love with an angelic young street thug (Anderson Ballesteros), who serves as Fernando's guide to the Medellin of his youth. Vivid, darkly humorous and often mystical, Barbet Schroeder's adaptation of Fernando Vallejo's acclaimed novel was largely filmed secretly under dangerous circumstances on the streets of Medellin.

4:30AM ET/3:30 C
The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course

WIDESCREEN OAR HDTV
Dolby Digital 5.1 / CCAP
PG 1h 30m
TV's hyperactive Aussie naturalist Steve Irwin stars as himself in this good-natured family adventure that finds the fearless critter wrangler trying to protect an endangered croc - one that has swallowed a top-secret satellite beacon that's being sought by the CIA. Believing the agents to be poachers, Irwin and his wife Terri try to evade their pursuers while getting the scaly reptile to safety in the Outback, adopting a baby kangaroo, and dodging poisonous spiders and snakes in the process. Crikey!

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